


Finding Bucky

by lilbev24



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1527551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilbev24/pseuds/lilbev24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little drivel about Steve rescuing Bucky</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I’m looking for a Sargent James Barnes?" Steve said quietly.

"There’s an isolation ward in the factory but no one’s ever come back from it." Falsworth replied.

"Alright. The treeline is northwest, 80 yards from the gate. Get out fast and give ‘em hell. I’ll meet you guys in the clearing with anybody else I find."

"Wait. You know what you’re doing?" Gabe asked.

"Yeah. I’ve knocked out Hitler over 100 times." Steve replied before leaving, ignoring the looks of confusion on the other soldiers faces.

_______________________

Finding Bucky was harder than Steve imagined. Surprisingly, the guards were not the hard part. Finding the isolation ward was.

He knew he had to be close when he saw a shadow moving in what looked to be a deserted hallway. Watching as a man came rushing out, carrying a briefcase, Steve didn’t attack. It took both the man and himself by surprise.

Slowly, he made his way into the room the man had come from.

"Sargent 32557. Barn…" Bucky said weakly.

"Bucky?!" Steve asked, looking his best friend over. "Oh my god." He quickly started tearing the restraints off.

Bucky kept staring at the ceiling, in a trance. “Is, is that…”

"It’s me. It’s Steve." Steve replied, hoping to jog Bucky’s memory.

"Steve?" Bucky asked at first and Steve watched as a grin crept onto Bucky’s face. "Steve."

"C’mon." Steve helped Bucky off of the table and to his feet. "I thought you were dead."

"I thought you were shorter." Bucky said. Steve could tell they’d done something to Bucky. Possibly experiments. And he was thankful he’d found his best friend when he did.

Bucky took a second to take in Steve. This was not the Steve he remembered. Seeing Steve triggered a memory.

_Steve Rogers. The gangly kid from Brooklyn who didn’t know when to run away from a fight. Too proud to do anything other than stand and take it. The girls never looked at him. All eyes always gravitated toward his best friend Bucky._

_It was understandable, of course. Bucky oozed confidence. No one messed with Bucky. And once you learned how Bucky defended Steve? You didn’t mess with Steve either._

_“We’ve got a double date.” Bucky said, coming through the door. Steve sighed. He knew better than that. Basically, Bucky had found two girls who liked him and convinced one of them that Steve was… well… not Steve._

_"You know my date will only be going because you’re there." Steve admitted._

_"What?" Bucky had the nerve to actually look shocked._

_"The girls go out with me because you. Not me." Steve continued, ignoring the look on Bucky’s face. "It’s fine Buck. It just gets a little frustrating."_

_"C’mon Steve. There are a lot of things about you that girls love." Bucky was not prepping for his pep talk._

_Steve rolled his eyes. “Thanks Buck but I’d rather we didn’t do this… again.”_

_Bucky sighed, dropping his chin to his chest. “You don’t have to come Steve but… I don’t like you hanging out here alone.”_

_"Nights in are nice sometimes." Steve argued._

_"I don’t do this to force you into double dates. I swear. I just… you’re my best friend. My right hand man. I don’t know. I… I can cancel the dates. We’ll do whatever you want tonight." Bucky offered._

_"Thanks Bucky but… I’m alright. I swear." Steve sighed again. "Hopefully you told her…"_

_"Nothing but good things about you." Bucky laughed. Steve grabbed his jacket, and Bucky closed the door behind them._

"C’mon." Steve started tugging on Bucky’s arm.

"What happened to you?" Bucky asked curiously.

"I joined the Army." Steve replied, pulling Bucky out of the office and down the hallway.

"Did it hurt?"

"A little."

"Is it permanent?"

"So far."

Bucky winced, finally feeling the pain of his endured torture. “Did you sneak in here just to find me?” Bucky finally asked, following Steve through the maze of hallways.

"Of course I did Buck. You’re all I’ve got left. Besides… I’m with you to the end of the line, right?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded, amazed and, if he was being honest with himself, proud of the Steve in front of him.

They finally made it to the weapons room. “We have to go up Buck.” He called back, starting the climb up the stairs. Steve knew he probably should have gone behind Bucky, not knowing what they’d done to him. But right now, his focus was getting both himself and Bucky out alive.

Steve hesitated when he saw two men fleeing. Bucky watched in awe as Steve went head to head with Schmidt, the leader of HYDRA. Slowly but surely, Bucky’s memories of what was going on in that factory were coming back to him. Schmidt. Zola. Everything.

"He’ll tell you I was his greatest creation." Schmidt said and both Steve and Bucky watched as he peeled his face off.

"You don’t have one of those, do you?" Bucky asked.

"You’re just afraid to admit that we’ve left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear." Schmidt called, taking a briefcase from Zola’s hands.

"Then how come you’re running?" Steve called back.

Not getting an answer, Steve turned back toward Bucky, just in time to brace himself for another explosion. He looked up and noticed a brace beam stretched across the ceiling. “C’mon. Let’s go. Up.” Steve urged, forcing himself up the stairs, Bucky on his heels.

"No way will this work." Bucky said when they reached the beam.

"One at a time." Steve replied, urging Bucky over the railing first.

Bucky didn’t hesitate. Steve had broken into a Hydra facility, the possibility that his best friend was dead, and had taken on Schmidt. If Steve was asking Bucky to jump, Bucky would only ask how high.

Bucky’s motor skills hadn’t fully come back to him and it was apparent to Steve. The beam was weak to begin with. Adding Bucky’s weight was making it worse. Steve knew Bucky would be the only one to get across that way. Instinctively, he started looking for another path, knowing full well there wasn’t one.

Steve watched the beam fall as Bucky jumped from the beam to the railing on the other side. “There’s gotta be a rope or something!” Bucky called to him.

"Just go! Get out of here!" Steve called back, knowing his request would be ignored. He’d come to save Bucky and, god damn it, Bucky wouldn’t leave without him.

"No! Not without you!" Bucky yelled, clearly mad at the idea.

"Aw hell." Steve muttered, bending the railing to give him a clear shot. Backing up, he paused, looking over at Bucky. He could tell Bucky couldn’t believe what Steve was about to do. ‘Here it goes’ Steve thought before taking a running jump toward Bucky and the railing.

Bucky reached out and just managed to snag Steve’s glove. They stayed that way, Steve hanging from Bucky’s arm. It took everything Bucky had to pull his friend up to the railing. From there, Steve climbed up and over. “I swear to god, you ever do that again…” Bucky started.

"Yeah yeah. Let’s get out of here." Steve brushed it off, leading Bucky out of the facility and back toward camp.

__________________

"You know… you still haven’t told me the story." Bucky nudged his friend.

"What story?" Steve asked, playing dumb.

"What really happened. I mean, it clearly wasn’t the Army. Look at me." Bucky laughed.

"You just aren’t special." Steve joked.

"Seriously. I’m your best friend. We’re family. You gotta tell me." Bucky pressed.

"An experiment. To create a super soldier." Steve sighed. "It was the only way I was going to get into the Army."

"That night at the fair." Bucky said, remembering his last night in New York.

"Yeah."

"I told you not to do anything stupid until I got back. And look at what you’ve done." Bucky fought the urge to slap his best friend upside the head.

"C’mon Buck. If I hadn’t? I almost lost you. Or worse." Steve muttered, trailing off near the end. "What were they doing to you anyway?"

"I… I don’t really know. I mean, I remember small bits and then, there are big blank spots. Almost as if my memory has been wiped." Bucky admitted. "Experiments most likely. Schmidt was insistent on recreating what I’m assuming was the stuff they used on you. Can you imagine? Me being turned into you?" Bucky laughed softly.

Steve smiled, not realizing the irony of Bucky’s comments. Not realizing how haunted he would become by the things that would happen next.


	2. Chapter 2

Hard liquor. That's what Bucky needed. And he needed lots of it. His mind was racing. Steve had saved 400 men. 400 men! He fought his way into the Hydra facility by himself. Released all the prisoners. Fought his way through dozens of soldiers to find him. The damn kid who'd been finishing Steve's fights since they were kids now needed Steve to protect him. If that didn't call for hard liquor, nothing did. 

“You alright Buck?” He heard Steve ask.

“Of course.” Bucky threw back the rest of his glass before gesturing to the bartender to refill.

“You know, if you don't slow down, you'll never make it back to Camp.” Steve joked. Bucky gave Steve a half-hearted smile. “Alright Bucky. What's going on? This isn't you.”

“It's gonna sound stupid.” Bucky muttered under his breath. He did not want Steve knowing what was on his mind.

“C'mon. It's me. Steve. We've been friends for as long as either of us can remember. You're my brother.” Steve urged. Bucky sighed, knocking back another glass of the whiskey. “You're remembering, aren't you?”

“You mean, the experiments?” Bucky asked, turning to finally face Steve. He quickly took his friend in. Steve had grown what looked like a foot and and had gained considerable weight. “A little bit. I wasn't kidding when I said there are holes in my memory. I have absolutely no idea what happened right before you found me.”

“What about before that?” Steve questioned, gesturing to the barkeep to give him what Bucky was drinking. The questioning was going to be hard and Steve knew that Bucky was going to need him. As a drinking partner. And as a friend.

Bucky became quiet. Remembering what lead up to their capture. The rumors that spread among the men. What Hydra was actually doing. If he was honest with himself, he'd admit it scared the hell out of him. But... this was Bucky. Someone who never gave into the fear. Never allowed himself to be pushed around. “We were in the trenches.” Bucky started softly. “We had them running Steve. We really did. At least, that's what we've told ourselves. Then these tanks rolled up and they definitely didn't have machine guns attached. We lost good men in Azzano.”

“I know Buck.” Steve said quietly. He pushed his drink in Bucky's direction and watched as Bucky downed it. 

“We'd heard the rumors about what they were doing to men. The experiments. Once you were taken to the isolation ward, you didn't come back. Whatever they were doing to those guys, they didn't survive.” Bucky muttered angrily.

“But you don't remember what it was they were doing.” Steve stated, realizing the rest of this conversation was futile.

“Nope.” Bucky said shortly, motioning for yet another drink. “You know,” He looked Steve over again. “It's not a bad look. Although, it sucks being shorter than you now.” 

Steve chuckled. “Heh, I guess you gotta look up to me now, huh?”

Bucky looked from his drink, to Steve, then back to his drink. Picking the glass up, he threw back the drink before replying, “I always looked up to you, kid.” Bucky knew Steve was in shock at the comment and it was now time to leave. “I'll meet you back at camp.” Bucky said to Steve offhandedly, pushing himself off the bar stool and heading toward the door. Not waiting for a reply, Bucky threw open the door and stepped out into the night.

\------------------------ 

Bucky had only just exited the bar when Steve made his decision. Pushing himself up off the stool, he rushed out the door and after his friend. “Buck! Wait up!” Steve called after him.

Bucky slowed, knowing he couldn't ignore Steve. “Yeah?” He finally questioned when Steve reached him.

“You know, we do have to take the other guys with us.” Steve said, causing Bucky to crack a smile.

“C'mon now Stevie. Wouldn't it be more fun for us to just leave them? I mean,” He glanced around at the few remaining guys who'd lagged behind. “they know the way back.”

“Buck...” Steve said, warning in his voice.

Bucky sighed, laughing softly. “Alright Steve. If you insist on them coming back with us, why don't you round them up.”

Steve did just that. Pulling together the rest of the boys from his rescue mission, Steve and Bucky started back toward the SSR camp. They walked slowly, making sure everyone stuck together. About twelve miles in, Steve noticed Bucky starting to lag. “You alright Buck?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, just...” Bucky trailed, focusing all his energy on putting one foot in front of the other. Neither said a word as Steve slipped his arm under Bucky's shoulder and propped him up. “Stevie...”

“I got you Buck.” Steve replied, panic growing in his chest. He'd pushed Bucky out of the HYDRA facility, ignoring the fact his best friend had been tortured and experimented on. Now the effects were showing and it scared Steve. He never made mention of it. Just aided Bucky any way he could until they reached their next camp.

\------------------------ 

Bucky could feel the heat of the fire before he saw it. He knew instantly, they'd stopped again, this time in the middle of the woods. Enemy territory. Instinctively, he reached for his gun. Not finding it, he shot up, eyes wide. “Buck?” Steve questioned.

“Sniper rifle? Where is it?” Bucky asked quickly.

“You didn't have one Bucky.” Steve said. “I'm sure we can get you one though.”

Bucky shook his head. “How much farther we got?”

“I'd say another twenty miles or so. Finally met up with the rest of your guys.” Steve smiled. Dum-Dum, Gabe, Monty, Dernier and Morita were so different than what Steve had ever expected. “How do you deal with those guys?”

“The same way I dealt with you. Patience.” Bucky laughed. “Really though, they're good guys. Good, honest soldiers who are about as loyal as they come. Other than you? There's no one else I'd want at my side than those guys.”

Steve leaned back against the log, lost in thought. He didn't notice Bucky get up and plop himself down next to Steve. “How mad are you right now Buck?” Steve asked, figuring he'd better get the conversation over with.

“On a scale of one to ten? Twenty. Maybe even thirty.” Bucky replied and he watched Steve cringe. “The only reason I haven't socked you yet is because I haven't got the strength. How? How could you be so stupid?”

Steve sighed. He'd known Bucky would be mad at him. He'd known that Bucky'd want to cuss him out. So he waited. When Bucky didn't continue, he chanced a glance at his face. Bucky was leaning back, eyes closed. “I had...” Steve started.

“Don't you dare give me the bullshit of 'I had to'. No you didn't. You never did.” Bucky never looked at him as he ranted. “I let you tag along when I enlisted because I knew. I knew you'd never accept me telling you that you couldn't go. And when you told me you were going to enlist too? Fuck Steve. I could'a killed you myself. This,” He gestured around the woods. “This was my way of keeping you safe. I should'a known you'd be stupid enough to try numerous times. I shoulda known I couldn't trust you to trust me.”

“I do trust you Buck.”

“You didn't!” Bucky finally yelled, causing a few heads to turn in their direction. “You didn't. You kept trying and trying until finally, someone, agreed to take you.”

“I know you don't understand why I had to do this Buck. I just wish I could make you understand.” Steve attempted to calm Bucky down.

“I don't understand?” Bucky was now furious. The lack of sleep was not helping. “I don't understand? That's fucking rich coming from you.” Bucky was now on his feet. “Every thing I've ever done my entire life was for you. To help you. To protect you.”

“I didn't ask you to prot...”

“That's what friends fucking do! You know Steve, the thing that kept me going was the fact I would make it home. That no matter what else had happened, you'd be there. Waiting for me. The one person in the entire world who would understand, no matter what.” Bucky leaned down so their faces were inches apart. “I swear to fucking God Steve, if you get yourself killed because you couldn't trust me...” 

Steve noticed the tears first. Bucky had lost everything. His parents. His sister. Steve was all he had left. The realization of what Bucky was really saying hit Steve like a freight train. Bucky couldn't save his parents. Couldn't protect his sister. But he could protect Steve. Had protected Steve from the minute they became friends.

_The brunette didn't need to look at the blonde twice to realize who was in the middle of the fight. Steve. “Hey!” He yelled, charging at the kid who currently had Steve pinned. “Go pick on someone your own size!”_

_“Like you?” The kid asked, climbing off Steve and standing toe to toe with Bucky._

_“Yeah. Although, you know I'll whip ya.”_

_“I'd like to see you try.” The kid said. Before he could get his hands up to defend himself, Bucky had landed a swift punch straight between the kids eyes. All the other kids scattered before the bully had hit the ground._

_“Ya know Stevie? I really think you like getting beat up.” Bucky extended his hand to the smaller kid._

_“I had him. You didn't have to do that.” The blonde argued._

_“Sure ya did Stevie.” Bucky laughed. “Let's get you cleaned up. I'd hate for your ma to see you like this.”_

Steve sighed, knowing he'd screwed it up. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe he really did have something to prove, even if it was only to himself. He knew better than to push Bucky. Buck would talk to him when he'd finally calmed down. As hard as it was for him, Steve closed his eyes and allowed himself to get a little sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Dum Dum grinned when he saw Bucky approaching. It didn't take long for his smile to disappear when he saw the look on his Sarge's face. “Barnes?”

“Yeah Dugan?” Bucky asked tiredly.

“You alright? I mean, besides the usual of course.”

“Of course.” Bucky lied. “When am I not alright?” He tried throwing on his signature smirk which only caused Dum Dum to raise his eyebrows.

“Should I remind you?” Dugan laughed.

“Shut it Dugan.” Bucky shoved his shoulder against Dugan's. “How are the guys holding up?”

“They don't like feeling this exposed.” Dugan replied. “Especially this deep into enemy territory. Granted, we've got weapons but think about it Sarge. We don't honestly know what they do.”

Bucky leaned his head back, thinking. After a couple minutes of silence, he sighed. “He's going to drive me crazy.”

“I gotta admit, we were all fairly concerned when he said he was looking for you. The guy introduced himself as Captain America.” Dum Dum laughed.

“Remember I told you about Steve? Yeah, that's him.” Bucky admitted.

The look on Dugan's face made Bucky laugh. “No way. The Steve you described was...”

“Sickly? Short? Thin with bones sticking out everywhere? Yeah he was. That asshole, who kept fucking trying to enlist, finally got someone to admit him. Apparently it was an experiment to create a 'super soldier'. Who knows what the hell it's actually done to him though.” Bucky muttered angrily.

Dugan was quiet for a minute, giving Bucky time to simmer. “Listen Sarge... whatever happened...”

“I was still in the fucking city!” Bucky bit out. “Still in fucking New York. We were on a god damn double date! And he just up and disappears. I finally find him in the fucking enlistment booth. Says he wants to try his luck. He couldn't even wait until I'd been shipped out. Had to do it my last fucking night in the States.”

“Sarge...” Dugan said cautiously.

Bucky groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “I just wish... just fucking once... that he'd listen to me. That he'd trust me.”

“Listen Sarge, now that he's here? Maybe he will.” Gabe finally injected himself into the conversation.

“I know him better than that Jones.” Bucky laughed harshly. “Steve likes to pick fights. Problem is? The Axis aren't some parking lot bully. Steve has no clue what he's getting himself into.”

“So help him with it.” Gabe argued. “Guide him and keep his nose out of trouble.”

“That's if they don't ship Sarge home.” Dugan said.

“No way I can leave now.” Bucky sighed. “I can't leave Steve alone for five minutes before he gets some idiotic idea. Now that he's here? Jesus I'll have to be glued to the guy's side.” That gained a chuckle from both Gabe and Dugan. Bucky glanced toward the dim light coming from the east. “Shit. We better get moving. Dawn's coming and I don't want to be here when the enemy wakes up. Do me a favor and start getting guys moving?”

“You got it Sarge.” Dum Dum threw him a lazy salute which made Bucky laugh.

\---------------------------

Bucky slowly approached where he'd left Steve. Poking Steve with his foot, he chuckled when Steve jumped. “What?!”

“Hey Cap.” Bucky threw the title at him sarcastically. “Time to get moving. You'll be okay, right? I mean, it's all about not getting any sleep around here.”

“Yeah. Of course.” Steve lied and Bucky grinned.

“Good. Then get yourself going. We have to get these guys back to camp. Shouldn’t keep them in enemy territory longer than we have to.” 

“Right.” Steve agreed, realizing Bucky knew better than he did. 

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten.” Bucky said offhandedly, walking away. “You still have a lot of explaining to do.” 

‘Shit.’ Steve thought, running a hand thru his hair. ‘This could get ugly.’

\---------------------------

Both Bucky and Steve had underestimated how close they were to the SSR camp. “This’ll be a court marshal for sure.” Steve let out a shaky breath. Bucky chuckled. “‘S not funny Buck.” 

“It kinda is.” Bucky grinned. “But sadly, I’ll bail your ass out.” 

“Buck…” Steve groaned. 

“C’mon Steve. You saved 400 men. If anyone thinks about court marshaling you, they’re insane.” Bucky said, bumping into Steve’s shoulder. 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.” Steve said. 

“Kind of.” Bucky smiled before turning his attention to the horizon. “Hey look! Camp.” 

“Hey! Look who it is!” They heard voices shout. Bucky had never seen such a reception, especially from the 107th. He cringed inwardly as Colonel Philips approached. 

“Some of these men need medical attention.” He heard Steve say. “I surrender myself for disciplinary action.” 

Bucky’s eyes widened. “That won’t be necessary.” Philips turned toward Agent Carter. “Faith huh?” Was all he said before walking away. 

“You’re late.” Peggy gently chided him. 

“Couldn’t call my ride.” Steve said with a grin, pulling a broken box from his jacket pocket. 

No. Everything was wrong with this situation. Bucky’s head was swimming. Not only had Steve offered himself up for punishment but they didn’t actually do it. He could feel the crowd around them growing and he wanted nothing more than to curl into himself. His Steve. Little Steve, he no longer existed. The reality was sinking in slowly. Before he could stop himself, he called out “Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” 

Steve smiled brightly at him and Bucky let his lazy grin cover his face. The minute Steve turned away, Bucky’s mouth dropped to a scowl. He didn’t dare turn around as he could feel Dum Dum’s eyes boreing holes into his skull. He jumped slightly when he felt Dugan place a hand on his shoulder. “We gotta talk kid.” Dugan said quietly enough for only Bucky to hear him. 

Bucky nodded, immediately turning toward Dugan. Dum Dum could see the tears slowly coming and moved to lead Bucky away from the group. “Sargent Barnes?” They heard Peggy call. They both froze and turned toward her. “We’ll need to speak to you.” 

“Of course.” Bucky forced a smile. Steve frowned, noticing how hard Bucky was trying. Dropping the smile, he just nodded toward Steve before following Dugan. 

“Monty. Jones. Dernier.” Dugan called toward them, jerking his head toward the edge of the woods. They nodded, following accordingly. 

“Really?!” Bucky asked. “Everyone?” 

“Would you calm down for two seconds. Jesus kid.” Dugan sighed. “I'm... we're worried about you.”

“Dugan...” Bucky growled.

“Dugan's right.” Monty chimed in. “You've been on edge ever since Captain America showed up. God, that sounds so utterly ridiculous. Captain America.”

“Steve.” Bucky bit out. “His name's Steve. But that doesn't matter to anyone but me.”

“Sarge...”

“It's wrong. It's all wrong.” Bucky dropped down to the ground, ducking his head between his legs as if he were going to be sick. “This isn't how it's supposed to be.”

Gabe took a seat next to Bucky and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You know Sarge, maybe this is how it's supposed to be.”

“Ha.” Bucky couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“Just hear me out.” Gabe sighed, watching the rest of them sit around him. “You've spent your whole life taking care of Steve, right?” He paused, waiting for Bucky to nod. When he did, Gabe continued. “Maybe it's time for you to take a break. Maybe the universe is telling you that he's supposed to take care of you now.”

“I don't need no one taking care of me.” Bucky snapped.

“Never said you did Sarge.” Dugan jumped in. “But there's a reason he's here, right? There's gotta be.”

“Yeah. Because he couldn't possibly imagine that there were actually important jobs to do at home. Couldn't believe that he could do just as much good there as he would here. Because, and I quote, 'Bucky c'mon. There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me.' Fucking punk.”

“What was your response?” Monty asked quietly.

Bucky paused, wondering if he may have been harsh on Steve. “I said, 'Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.' Damn punk didn't even reply, which always means yes in our book.” He looked from Dugan to Jones. “I was an orphan. You guys know that. You also know Steve is all the family I got. I tried being nice with him. Thought taking him with me when I enlisted would deter Steve from trying to enlist. Especially since he tried to when I signed up. But the punk doesn't take no for an answer. So he kept trying. Coming home late after trying to enlist in Jersey or somewhere a few hours away. To me, Steve's always been capable. But just because Steve was capable didn't mean his body was. And I knew that. So I started begging him stop trying. Begging! And it all culminated in my last night in New York. Fucking Steve, not accepting no, finds some sympathy in a fucking science experiment.” The others looked at each other. This was the most Barnes had talked about his last night stateside. And they knew better than to interrupt him. “I couldn't live with the thought of Steve being over here and not making it home. Nothing to go home to. No reason to keep going. If I lose him because he couldn't, just once in his life....”

“Ah hem.” They all jumped at the throat clearing. “Sargent Barnes?”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked angrily.

“Colonel Philips and Agent Carter would like to speak to you.” The private said meekly.

“Of course.” Bucky pushed himself up off the ground and wiped himself off. He started to follow the private before pausing and turning back to the others. “Even when I had nothing, I had Steve. I don't anymore.” He threw them a lazy smirk before turning toward the private and heading to Philips tent.

\---------------------------

“I heard you wanted to see me?” Bucky said, stepping into the tent. He glanced around and noticed a chair set up in the middle of the room. He immediately froze, closing off his facial expressions.

“We just want to ask you about the factory you were held in.” Agent Carter said softly, studying Bucky. “Would you care to...” Bucky was shaking his head before the question came out of her mouth. “Alright then. What kind of factory are we looking at?”

“Shouldn't Ste... Captain America be in on this?” Bucky asked suddenly.

“Sorry?” Peggy seemed confused. “I got the idea you and Captain Rogers were acquainted.”

“Oh thank god.” Bucky let out a breath he was unaware he was holding. “Steve. Shouldn't Steve be here?”

“Would you like Captain Rogers here?” Agent Carter seemed to be asking all the questions and Bucky, for one, was glad. Getting interrogated by Philips was not on his to-do list. He watched as she slipped past him and asked the soldier standing guard to fetch Captain Rogers. 

It hadn't even been five minutes before Steve came walking into the tent. His eyes landed on Bucky and he frowned. Bucky looked pale, sickly. Like Steve had on the nights where it got too cold. “I was summoned?”

“Sargent Barnes would like you here.” Peggy informed him and Steve nodded. “Now. Sargent. About the factory.”

“Right. Factory. Well... It was a weapons factory. Although, it was mainly parts assembly. From there, the parts were shipped off to another facility. Guys were beaten, starved... once they left the main area, they didn't come back.” Bucky swallowed hard. 

“Except for you.” Philips replied.

“Except for me.” Bucky nodded. “Then I got sick. Pneumonia. Of course, the guards were going to let me out of working. According to the guys, nearly got myself beat to death. They gave me two days to recover before dragging me off to be their lab rat.” Bucky spit out the last two words angrily. “Which, I understand, is what you made Steve.”

“Bucky...” Steve warned. Steve watched Bucky's shoulders tense, his jaw set and his fists clench. Tearing his eyes away from Bucky, he turned to Philips. “There was a map in the room I found Bucky. Looked to be other HYDRA facilities. If we can get a map, I can mark the locations.”

Peggy nodded, looking from Philips to Barnes, neither of whom had taken their eyes off the other. “Good. Get some rest you two, we're headed for London at 0600.”

“Of course.” Steve replied, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder and leading him out of the tent. “Buck look. I want to put together a group of guys to take down HYDRA. To wipe them off the map. But... I don't...”

Bucky blinked a few times before responding. “Are you asking me...?”

“Just wondering if you know of anyone who would be a good fit.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervous.

Bucky laughed. “I've got a group of idiots for you. And trust me, they're all idiots.”


	4. Chapter 4

“You think they'll actually do it?” Steve was still hesitant.

Bucky sighed. “Yes Steve. They are the best out there. And on top of that? They're idiots. They'd probably follow you to the end of the earth if you asked.”

“That's such bullshit Buck.” Steve laughed.

“I'm serious. Just ask them.” Bucky argued.

“Alright. If you say so.”

“Oh,” Bucky looked at Steve. “When I'm right? You'll owe me a drink.”

“And if they don't?”

“They will.” Bucky laughed. He paused, looking at Steve. “I'm turning in Cap. Big day tomorrow.”

“We're headed to London. Not that big of a deal.”

“Whatever you say Steve.” Bucky turned toward his tent. “You got a place to sleep?”

“Yeah. I'm good.” Steve replied, suddenly feeling very lost.

“Alright. See you in the morning.” Bucky replied and headed toward the tent opening. “If you need me, come find me.” He called back.

“Of course.” Steve smiled, tired and achy. “Find me if you need me.”

“I always do.” Bucky said before disappearing into his tent.

Steve chuckled to himself when he heard Bucky groan. “For fucks sake Dugan!”

\--------------------------------------

Dugan had cleared space out, knowing Bucky'd need the sleep. The walk from Azzano couldn't have been good for Sarge's health. He'd contracted pneumonia soon after they'd started working in the factory. The guards were strict and certainly didn't care for the prisoners. To them, the more prisoners who died, the better. So when they started beating on Bucky for not being able to work, Dugan grew concerned that it might finally spell the end of the kid.

Of course, that was before the rest of them had gotten their act together. Buck had been furious with them, as they couldn't keep themselves from trying to rip the others apart. Slurs and comments were made from all sides... except for Barnes.

“Captain Rogers huh?” Dugan asked when he noticed Barnes enter the tent. “Does he even...?”

“Nope.” Bucky grabbed the flask from Dugan's hands and took a swig. “Which means we'll have to take care of him.”

“Whatda mean 'we'?”

“Well...” Bucky paused. “He's gonna ask you guys to join him. You don't have to of course.”

“Like we'd leave you.” Dugan laughed. “Should we tell the others?”

“Nah. Let it be a surprise for them.”

“Seems kinda mean.”

“What does?” Gabe asked, walking into the tent.

“Oh nothing. You'll find out tomorrow.” Dugan grinned and Bucky slapped him upside the head.

“Alright. What is it you fucks aren't telling me?” Gabe pushed.

“Apparently Captain America... Steve,” Dugan cringed as he glanced at Bucky. Bucky had moved himself into the corner, downing Dugan's alcohol. “Is going to ask us to help him out.”

“By doing what?”

“Going after the bastards who captured us in Azzano.”

“Who is... us?” Gabe was now nervous.

“You, me, Jimmy, Monty, Jim and Frenchie.”

“Jim?” Buck was now listening.

“Morita.”

“Oh yeah.” Jones smiled. “The one who gave you shit when we were released.”

“Let's hear this.” Bucky moved to sit next to Gabe on the bunk. “He gave you shit?”

“Not quite.” Dugan argued.

“He treated Jim the same way he treated Dernier when we first met him.”

“Oh for fucks sake Dugan!”

“How was I to know?” Dugan shrugged.

“How about you just treat people decent?” Bucky asked. “You never know who you'll have to work with.”

“Oh please Jimmy...”

“Dum Dum...” Bucky hated people using his given name.

“Honestly Sarge. Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor. Can't blame me fore being cautious.”

Bucky sighed. Dugan was a good guy. He had his faults, as they all did, but he was loyal. And once you'd proven trustworthy? He was with you to the end. “You alright Sarge?” Gabe asked, leaning into Bucky.

“Yeah. You know... I had nothing growing up. Dad died in a training accident.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “I always thought that the only way to make Dad proud was to join the Army. Now... I just don't know. I think I want to be here. Steve's always known what he's wanted. Me? Not so much.”

“You don't have to know what you want Sarge. We're still young. When the war's over, when we're finally out? You can do anything you want.”

“You sound like Mrs. Rogers.” Bucky laughed. “She used to say that every once in a while to me. She knew I was unsure what I wanted. She always pushed Steve towards art. He's incredible. I ain't never seen anyone draw the way he can. Always told him he'd go somewhere. Just wish it wasn't here.”

“Think they'll send you home?”

“Even if they want to, I won't go. I can't.”

“Maybe you should think about yourself this time.” Gabe suggests.

“Ha. If you only knew.” Bucky drawled sarcastically. “Besides, I'll have you guys. I won't have to worry as much.”

“I say we say no just because.” Gabe grinned at Dugan. Dugan let out a laugh as Bucky tackled Gabe to the cot. “Oof Sarge!”

Bucky grinned as he placed Gabe in a head lock. “You're going to say yes. You don't have a choice.”

“Careful Jonesy. You don't want to get Sarge too riled up.” Dugan chuckled before laying back on his cot. “You know, we've gotta be up early. We are leaving for England in the morning.”

“Killjoy.” Bucky muttered, releasing Gabe from his grip. He wandered over to the cot next to Dugan. “One thing Dugan. You snore tonight? I'm punching you square in the jaw.” Bucky smiled as Dugan laughed, settling in for the night.

\--------------------------------------

_“C'mon Buck. I know you haven't eaten.” Steve pushed. It was the third night this week Bucky'd gone without eating._

_“I'm fine Steve. Promise.” Bucky smiled._

_“You know, you're no good to me dead.” Steve shot at him. Bucky's head snapped up, eyes wide. Every so often Bucky would crack a joke, most of the time when Steve was sick. But Steve? Never._

_“What?”_

_“You heard me. What good are you to me if you're dead?” Steve asked. “None. And that's what's gonna happen if you don't start eating.”_

_“I told you, I'm fine Steve.” Bucky said again. Bucky watched the wheels turning in Steve's mind._

_“Alright. If you aren't eating, neither am I.” Steve finally said, his resolve set._

_“Oh no you don't pal. You're eating. You need to eat. Look at you.” Bucky tried joking._

_“Don't start the crap Buck. I know money's tight but you can't not eat. And if you aren't eating? Neither am I.” Steve pushed himself up from the table and grabbed his plate._

_“Stevie...” Bucky grabbed Steve's arm as he passed. “Don't do this.”_

_It was no use. Bucky could see it in Steve's eyes. Normally, Bucky would be able to get through to Steve. This time was different. This time Steve was set in his resolve. Every time Bucky would make him something, Steve would refuse it. The only time he'd eat is if he knew Bucky had eaten first. After a while, it just made Bucky angry._

_"Don't snap at me!" Steve said, his face turning red._

_"You're the one doing this."_

_"But I'm not the one who'll keel over if I don't eat." Bucky shot back._

_"Oh? Now we're getting somewhere." Steve threw his hands up dramatically. "You know, I didn't realize how much of a burden I am. So fragile."_

_"Knock it off Steve. You know what I meant."_

_"No I don't. Explain."_

_"Steve..."_

_"Explain it Buck!" Steve was now yelling. "Because I sure as hell don't get it. We've never done this. You've never done this. Why now?"_

_"I do it every fucking year!" Bucky finally shouted. Steve grew quiet. "Every year, I push food in your face and I go without. You ain't a burden Stevie. You ain't. You just need a little more lookin' after. That's fine. I like doin' it."_

_"Buck..."_

_"We both know what it's like to be hungry. But with your health? I'm not risking anything. Why can't you just give me that?" Bucky asked, slumping down against the wall._

_Steve slowly made his way across the room and sat down next to Bucky. "Because it does neither of us any good if the other isn't eating. I need you around Buck. But you won't be if you don't eat. And I know it's the same for me. So, let's agree. We're both eating. And we'll ration better."_

_"You know Stevie? Sometimes I hate you." Bucky cracked a smile. "You're a punk."_

_"Jerk." Steve threw his shoulder into Bucky's side which, as always, caused an impromptu wrestling match. "Bucky... Buck. C'mon!"_

Steve laid in his cot, staring at the roof of the tent. Bucky's outburst in Philips' tent had caused Steve's mind to wander. Bucky had always been prone to angry outburst, never really having control over his emotions. Of course, he could handle them. But when it came to Becca or Steve, well... there was no saying what he'd actually do.

That wasn't to say he was wrong. He definitely wasn't. Steve had been a lab rat. For all Steve knew, the experiment might not have worked. It could definitely have ended up killing him. And having almost lost Bucky, Steve could finally see why Bucky would be so worked up about it. After all, if the feelings Steve had gotten at the thought of Bucky being dead were anything close to the feelings Bucky had about Steve being a lab rat, Steve could no longer blame Bucky.

Steve remembered the first time Bucky had told him about his father's death. He'd just gotten home from saving Steve from another fight. All beat up and bleeding, Buck's father had just shook his head. _“You should have seen him Stevie. He looked so upset. Told me he was disappointed in me. I never felt so ashamed in my life.”_

_“I'm sorry Buck.”_

_“S'not your fault. I mean, I can't just leave you to be beat senseless, can I?”_

_“But that was the last thing...”_

_“Yeah I know punk. Last words my dad ever says to me. 'I'm disappointed in you Bucky.' Stung like a bitch. But... I know how I'll make it up to him.”_

_“Oh yeah? How?”_

_“I'm joining the Army.”_

And that he did. Bucky had signed up right after Pearl Harbor but before the declaration of war. Spent six months at Camp McCoy in Wisconsin while Steve had stayed home, nursing what little money they had left over from Bucky's work at the docks.

Steve shook his head, swinging his feet around and planting them firmly on the ground. Reaching into his pack, he pulled out the small leather-bound journal that Bucky had gotten him for his 20th birthday. They couldn't afford much but Bucky was tired of watching Steve draw on napkins. Napkins, Bucky had told him, weren't suitable to save. With the journal, Steve finally had a place for all of his drawings. Since Steve couldn't get the image of Bucky strapped down to the table out of his head, he decided to put it down in the journal instead.

\--------------------------------------

The flight to London was quiet and uneventful. Steve hadn't been able to sleep the previous night but seeing Bucky there, and alive, he managed to get an hour of sleep on the plane. At one point, Steve shrunk down into his seat and laid his head on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky just sighed, unsure of how he should feel.

When the plane finally touched down, Bucky and the boys headed straight for the nearest pub while Peggy and Philips grabbed Steve and drug him to an underground bunker. “Carter, get Rogers to tell you where those facilities were.” Philips ordered before walking deeper into the bunker.

Peggy rolled her eyes but led Steve to a table with a large map of Europe. “Well Rogers?”

“Uh...” Steve accepted the pencil that was being held out for him. “First base was... here. Azzano. Second? Here in Germany. Third was here in Greece. Fourth, here near Prague.”

“Alright.” Peggy encouraged.

“The fifth one was here in Poland, right near the Baltic. And the sixth one was... here, 30 or 40 miles west of the Maginot line.” Steve told Peggy, marking the HYDRA bases on a map. “I just got a quick look.”

“Well nobody's perfect.” Peggy replied, smirking.

Steve smiled softly before following Peggy further into the bunker. “These are the weapons facilities we know about. Sargent Barnes said that HYDRA shipped all the parts to another facility that isn't on this map.” He said, relaying the information to Colonel Philips.

“Agent Carter, coordinate with MI6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main HYDRA base.”

“What about us?” Peggy asked.

“We are gonna light a fire under Johann Schmidt's ass.” Philips replied, taking the paperwork from Lorraine's hands. “What do you say Rogers? It's your map. You think you can wipe HYDRA off of it?”

“Yes sir. I'll need a team.”

“We're already putting together the best men.” Philips told him, not looking up from the papers.

“With all due respect sir, so am I.” Steve replied. Philips finally looked up at him, giving him a once over before dismissing him. For Steve, the hard part was what came next.

\--------------------------------------

“So let's get this straight...” Dugan started.

“We barely got out of there alive and now you want us to go back?” Gabe finished for him.

“Pretty much.” Steve shrugged.

Monty smirked. “Sounds rather... fun actually.”

The men around the table rolled their eyes as Jim let out a belch. “I'm in.”

Of course, as was the case, Dernier started talking rapidly in French. Steve sat there nodding, trying to see if he could catch anything that made sense. Before he knew it, Gabe interjected himself, responding to Dernier's rambling. Steve watched them shake hands, an amused look on his face. He cast a glance toward Gabe who responded with a laugh. “We're in.”

“Hell I'll always fight.” Dugan said, picking up his glass. His mind was racing. This was the best way for him to protect Bucky. “But you have to do one thing for me.”

“What's that?” Steve asked.

Dugan proceeded to down the rest of his beer, slamming the glass on the table. “Open a tab.” The rest of the men chuckled as Steve collected the glasses and headed for the bar. “Well that was easy.” Dugan laughed, watching Steve approach the bartender.

“Another round.” Steve said to the barkeep.

“Where are they putting all this stuff?” The barkeep asked, astounded. Steve just smiled and shook his head, waiting for the new drinks. After getting the beers and distributing the glasses, he made his way around the corner to where Bucky was sitting, nursing a glass of whiskey.

Bucky chuckled, having turned to greet Steve. “See. I told you. They're all idiots.”

“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” Steve asked nervously, sitting down on the stool next to Bucky.

It was the first time Steve had really been able to take in Bucky's appearance. His uniform was unkempt and his hair was a mess. He looked like he hadn't slept in a few days but there were no outward signs of the torture he had endured. It caused Steve's brows to furrow in confusion. There should have been some sign. Something that showed Bucky had been put through the ringer by HYDRA. Instead, any scars that he might have had, were not there.

Bucky smirked. “Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him.” He paused, taking another drink. “But you're keeping the outfit, right?”

Steve sighed, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “You know what?” He glanced back at the poster hanging on the back wall before turning back toward Bucky. “It's kinda growing on me.”

Bucky had to fight back a laugh as he listened to they guys singing in the next room. “Don't worry. They're always this loud. I don't think the alcohol has any affect on the whatsoever.”

 _“Remember that the best of friends must part, must part. Adieu adi...”_ The singing had trailed off, which caused both Steve and Bucky to lean back and look around the corner. When Peggy came around the corner, both men immediately stood.

“Captain.” Peggy offered quietly.

“Agent Carter.” Steve replied.

“Ma'am.” Bucky nodded, keeping his gaze on Peggy and sliding his hands into his pockets.

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?” She asked, studying Steve's face.

Bucky watched as Steve nodded slightly. “Of course.” Steve replied and Bucky had to mentally stop himself from rubbing an hand over his face. Whatever they had done to him, it still hadn't improved Steve's flirting ability. Bucky knew he'd have to do something to save Steve from floundering.

“I see your new squad is prepping for duty.” Peggy said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“You don't like music?” Bucky asked, turning up the charm.

“I do, actually.” Peggy replied, never taking her eyes off of Steve. “I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky asked her, eyes bouncing back and forth between her and Steve.

“The right partner.” She said and Bucky watched Steve smile. “0800 Captain.”

“Yes ma'am. I'll be there.” Steve replied.

Bucky knew better than to let Steve see he was helping so he put on his best confused expression, watching Peggy leave. “I'm invisible.” Bucky finally said, turning his attention back to Steve. He tried hard to phrase the next part delicately, knowing full well Steve would give him snark. “I'm turning into you. It's like a horrible dream.” Bucky laughed softly.

Steve turned back toward the bar, feeling a little more hurt than he knew he should. He placed a reassuring hand on Bucky's shoulder. “Don't take it so hard. Maybe she's got a friend.” He smirked, trying to wipe away the hurt he was certain Bucky'd see.

And Bucky did. Deciding it was better to ignore the situation entirely, Bucky turned back to the bar and downed the rest of his drink. Steve motioned for the barkeep to bring two more before pulling out his journal and spending the rest of the night getting Bucky's opinions on how the uniform should be designed.


End file.
